


Fools in Uber Pools

by jilytho



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Marauders, Uber, jily, jily au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27370558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jilytho/pseuds/jilytho
Summary: James and Lily met for the first time in the same Uber pool ride. A series of the subsequent Uber pools they continue to meet in
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 27
Kudos: 107





	1. The First Ride

**Sunday, November 1st - 11:34am**

**Uber-Pool: Your driver is** **_Gerald_** **. Your estimated time of arrival is 11:57am.**

“We’re going to pick someone else up if that’s alright. Just a few extra minutes.” Gerald the Uber driver was very nice but every single syllable that came out of his mouth was like a tiny man living on James’s brain holding a very large, very real hammer and pounding away.

“Yeah, no worries man, thanks.” He slid lower in his seat, pulling his hoodie in tighter around his sunglasses and blocking out as much light and sound as possible and screwing his eyes shut tight to avoid throwing up all over Gerald’s nice leather interior. 

“Here we are,” the blinker came on and they pulled in front of a fancy hotel. It was exactly the kind of five star place Sirius insists they stay in whenever they travel despite being unemployed and surviving off of a dwindling inheritance.

He rolled his eyes, then stifled a groan when the rolling intensified the dizzy and instantly made his stomach flip. He shifted himself all the way towards his door so the newcomer wouldn’t be able to smell the vodka seeping out of his every pore. 

“Hi, what’s the name?” High, feminine voice but a croaky tone, as if she had spent the last full evening screaming her throat sore. His stomach clenched at the idea of any other human than Gerald, especially a girl, seeing or smelling him in his current state. 

“Lily?” The newcomer, Lily apparently, opened the back door and slid in next to him. 

“Hullo there,” she muttered, nodding politely. He looked up out of courtesy, planning to nod lightly before returning to viewing the inside of his eyelids, when instead he was shocked into silence by possibly the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen. 

His tongue instantly became thick cotton and the temperature of the car seemed to rise instantly. Despite the fact that she was clearly in a similarly hangover afflicted state, and had undoubtedly seen better days, she was still ridiculously beautiful. Her skirt was short, riding up as she sat down so he quickly averted her eyes to not immediately appear as pervy as he felt for noticing. Her top was shiny and sparkling, making her appear somewhat dizzyingly like a disco ball. High heels in hand, thin hotel slippers on her feet, and eye makeup from the night before smudged under her eyes and down to her cheeks. 

“Uh, hi” he stammered, wincing as the word cracked as he forced it out. 

“Wow,” she appraised him lightly, he tried and failed to not shrink under her stare, “you almost look worse than me. I didn’t quite think that was possible,” she smiled at him lightly, while he stared openly.

She smirked at him and busied herself with rummaging around in her purse. Without looking up she started pushing belongings into his hands, scrunchie, deodorant, two tampons, bag of crackers. “Can you hold this?” she asked after half the bag was already in his arms. 

“Here we are.” She pulled out a 5 hour energy shot and a glass bottle of Starbucks frappuccino. He watched her cautiously, feeling a bit like she was a wild animal, capable of charging at any time. She ripped the paper off the energy shot with her teeth and poured it into the coffee with a steady, clearly practiced hand. 

“Cheers, mate.” She lifted the bottle up to him mockingly before throwing half the bottle back in one gulp, while he just stared, aghast. 

“Cheers,” he murmured back, starting to realize that this girl was either absolutely deranged or the most incredible human he had ever encountered. Either way, he desperately wanted to know more.

“Alright, Lily. We are here.” Gerald, seemingly oblivious to the entire back of car conversation, although it was more likely that this sort of morning routine was commonplace for an Uber driver, pulled alongside the curb of a much shabbier, and slightly dilapidated, building than where they had picked her up from. 

“Fabulous! Thanks, Gerald.” She flung open the back door and swung her slipper covered feet out and leaping out of the car, arm poised to slam the door shut.

“WAIT!” James shrieked, “I have all your stuff!” He desperately reached out, crushing the crackers in his fist as he clenches them in his fist, reaching out of the still open door to show her. 

“Silly me, suppose the caffeine hasn’t quite kicked in yet. Thanks mate, real life saver you are. You can just drop all that in here, thanks again,” she slid back into her seat and held her tote open in between them and motioned for him to dump his armful of belongings back into the bag. 

“Yeah, anytime.” He nodded, still not believing he had met this mystery maniac but especially that she was going to just _leave._

She slid back out, swiveling around to look at him once more. “Same time next week, then?” she dropped an eye into a wink, slightly ruined by the fake eyelashes now drooping low, half unattached. 

“Bye, then!” And with a quick slam of the door, she was gone. 


	2. Sober Second Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second ride

**Wednesday, November 4th -7:12pm**

**Uber-Pool arriving in 3 minutes. Please meet your driver** **_Petra_ ** **at the pre-set pick up location. You will arrive at your destination at 7:26pm.**

James was already twelve minutes late to meet his mother for dinner and every passing minute that he was not actively sitting across from her was another minute she would be planning creative ways to separate his head from the rest of his body. 

Hands shoved deep into his pockets and rocking back and forth from his heels to tiptoes, he started wondering if he had time to grab flowers as an excuse before Petra the driver arrived. 

That idea was quickly rejected as the toyota he saw on the app pulled up alongside the curb.

“James?”

“Yes, thank you, thank you!” He shouted as he dove to grab the backdoor and slid in to find another passenger already seated. Of course he had to cheap out and get a pool. Maybe if he slipped Petra a 20 she’d drop him off first. The other passenger might even understand, she looked far too relaxed in her seat to be running late, she’d be fine with it if he asked nicely, maybe. 

“Hello!” she chirped, eyes flitting up to look at him for half a second before returning back to her phone. Oh god. How could he have not immediately recognized that hair. It was Sunday morning girl, kind of. It was the Sunday morning Goddess but with six less pounds of day old eye makeup and falling off lashes. Immediately, he felt that Petra could take the long way, like backroads filled with traffic and delays, and he wouldn’t care at all. 

He had been right, she was somehow even more gorgeous with her hair in curls around her face and heels on her feet instead of in her hands. 

He leaned over, slightly encroaching onto the neutral middle seat territory and lowering his voice so as to not be overheard by Petra. “What, no energy drink today?” 

“I’m sorry?” her eyebrows shoot up and eyes widen in confusion for two and a half seconds (James held his breath and counted), before narrowing in recognition. 

“Wow, I barely recognized you without the sunglasses and sweatshirt and overall air of ‘so hungover I might just keel over and die’.” Her phone dropped out of her hands and into her lap as she turned to face him, seatbelt straining.

“Could say the same to you,” eyeing the yellow floral sundress that made her look like walking sunshine, and was so different, but equally as dangerous, from the skin tight black skirt he had last seen her in that made her look much more like walking sex. 

“Ah yes, clean hair and brushed teeth. Does wonders for the complexion.”

“I bet. Coffee and a shower really did it for me. Really elevated the whole will to live.”

“Of course, of course. Nothing like a good shower and greasy breakfast to kickstart that feeling.”

“Essential, really, but of course not at the same time.”

“What do you mean? You only believe in one cure not two?”

“No, I mean that eating greasy breakfast in the shower usually makes it more soggy than greasy. Not the best combination.”

That got her to snort with laughter and roll her eyes. The sound of her laughter, at  _ his joke  _ no less, made his entire being light up with joy and his fingers begin to tingle. She leaned in a little bit closer. 

“And you know this from experience, I presume?”

“Unfortunately yes,” his voice became a mock whisper, “a particularly dark Tequila Tuesday leading to a late for work Wednesday leading to a rushed McDonald’s pancake breakfast in the shower. Soap got in the syrup, shampoo in the butter, tried to shave my face with my fork instead of my razor. It was a nightmare,” he drawled out dramatically, eliciting a real, full laugh from her this time.

“Very good to know. Although truth be told, I feel like that was more on you. Pancake breakfast  _ really _ isn’t a shower food. French toast sticks. Cereal. Oatmeal. Now  _ those _ are shower food.”

“See I see why you’d say that but let's back up here for a second. French toast sticks, while delicious, are exponentially less good without proper syrup dipping. Now, as previously mentioned, I can guarantee that syrup and soap do not mix.”

“You don’t need syrup for French toast sticks! They’re fabulous on their own! No condiments required.”

“Wrong, absolutely wrong. Disgusting eating habits you have.”

“Me? I’m certainly not the one shaving and eating with the same fork. Clearly you need to sort your priorities out.”

“Yes, well let’s not forget that the last time we met, you were combining a five hour energy with a premade bottled coffee. Of all the food related atrocities I have committed, never, in my life, would I even think-”

“James,” Petrua interrupted, “we’re here.”

James snapped back to his seat realizing he was far more in the middle than most people would deem acceptable Uber etiquette, but giddily he realized that Lily was disobeying that etiquette just as much. 

“Of course. Um, thanks so much,” he looked down at his phone to see it was now 7:20 and he had six voice messages from his mother. “Shit, shit shit, I am late. Okay,” he jumped out of the car, nearly knocking a passing pedestrian down with the door. 

“Shit, fuck, shit, ma’am are you alright? Fuck,” one hand reached down to help up the lady while the other rooted firmly in his hair. As he sent the lady on her, thankfully injury free, way he could practically feel his mother’s glare cutting through the restaurant and finding him. 

“Thank you so much Petra. And you,” he looked desperately towards Lily, praying to find some words to ask to see again but failing miserably.

She smiled slightly at him, leaning backwards in her seat, picking her phone up from where it laid forgotten on her lap. “I’ll see you around, James.” 

“Right, ah yes. Right, of course. Bye then.” With a tight smile and nod, he closed the door, spun on his heel and prepared to get verbally berated.


	3. Meet the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The third, and most embarrassing, ride

**Saturday, November 7th 10:36am**

**Uber-Pool: Your driver is** **_Richard_ ** **. Your estimated time of arrival is 10:53am.**

James was perched in the middle seat, knees cramped halfway into his chest and halfway in Sirius’s lap, while Sirius leisurely spread his out in front of him. Stupid git and his nonstop coin flip wins. “Budge over, dolt. I’m going to be half on top of whoever is about to get in here.”

“James, honey,” Sirius looked down at him condescendingly, “if you didn’t want to cuddle with a new friend you should have called heads!” 

“I know where I’d like to put your head.”

The door swung open before the boys could begin outright wrestling in the back of Richard’s very nice, but very cramped, car. 

“Well, hello there. Fancy seeing you, shower boy.” James whipped around to see the most gorgeous smirk in the world staring down at him. He felt his entire neck flame up and his left hand itching to grab his hair but was prevented by the fact that it was half stuck under Sirius’s arse. 

“Shower boy?” Sirius repeated delightedly.

“Oh! You! Hi!” he gasped out, eyes incredulous at his bad luck. Or maybe amazing luck. 

“Hello there, I don’t believe we have had the pleasure.” Sirius peered around James, reaching a hand right over James’s lap to shake hers. Naturally, they had to shake directly over James’s mid center and six inches above his crotch, inciting a deep blush for a whole new source of reasons. 

He stared straight ahead. His entire side pressed up along her side, causing tingles and flames to spark at every single molecule of contact. 

“Red hair, beautiful eyes. No wonder you’ve already discussed James in the shower. Perhaps you’d like to join him in one some time?” Sirius waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

James choked on his own saliva. “Are you hitting on her _for me?_ ” 

“Well someone ought to! Clearly you’re too much of a fumbling idiot to do it yourself,” he mocked whispered, shooting a wink over James’s shoulder at Lily. 

“How have you been?” Lily, kindly and wisely, ignored Sirius and looked solely at James. “Any new hangover experiments you want to catch me up on since our last meeting?” She wiggled her eyebrows at him dramatically and his laugh came out like the panicked squawk of a choking seagull. 

“No, no, nothing so exciting. Although, I did accidentally add cayenne pepper to my coffee this morning and that was definitely a wake up call after a night of whiskey. Might be worth a shot.”

God he needed to learn when to shut up. 

“I’m sorry how exactly does one _accidentally_ add cayenne pepper to their coffee?”

“That’d be my bad, actually,” Sirius cut in, eyeing them both suspiciously, “Jamesie here likes to put cinnamon in his coffee everyday. I may have purposely accidentally mislabeled the jars before he came downstairs today.”

“Ah, I see,” she giggled softly, giving James a teasing elbow to the side, “what’s a light prank or two between boyfriends?” 

James spluttered like a fish while Sirius howled obnoxiously.

“Something I said?” she cautiously smiled, eyes flitting between James’s aghast expression and Sirius’s obvious joy.

“You,” Sirius pointed straight at her, “I love.” 

James yanked his hand out from between his side and Sirius’s so he could fling it into Sirius’s chest.

“What he means to say,” James turned back to Lily, hand rifling through his hair, “is absolutely not. Not boyfriends. Well, he has a boyfriend. I don’t have a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. But if it were either it’d be a girlfriend. That I’d have. I erm I date girls. Just not currently dating a girl.” He trailed off slowly, watching Lily’s grin grow as he rambled on and his blush continued to deepen. “We’re brothers,” he finished lamely. 

Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking. 

“Thanks for clearing that up. I’ll keep that in mind. I think we might be at your stop though.” James whipped around to look at Sirius’s window and see they were in fact in front of Remus’s building and likely had been for half of his rambling speech. 

“Oh don’t worry, we’re in no rush.” Sirius smirked deliriously, “please James continue to tell the lady about your complete utter lack of a boyfriend or girlfriend. This is the best car ride of my life.” 

James had never glared more strongly in his life than in that moment. 

“Right, get out then before I kick you through the door.” 

Sirius was still giggling maniacally and threatening to go back and tell her about his last failed relationship by the time James was able to scoot all the way out of the car and look back in at Lily, who was naturally watching the entire thing as casual as could be. 

“Sorry about him, he’s not usually allowed out of the house.”

“Don’t be. I liked him. Maybe I’ll meet him again some time.”

“Yeah, erm, yeah maybe. That’d be grand.” Grand, humiliating, horrifically embarrassing, who's to say, really.

“Right, bye then.” And the door closed and Richard pulled away before he could begin to process that exchange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellloooo!! this is the shortest chapter I wanted Lily and Sirius to meet lol...next chapter is last chapter so coming to an end! you guys have been so kind in your comments thank you so so much for reading probably the most ridiculous meet cute i will ever write.


	4. Lad's Night and Lizard Ladies

**Wednesday, November 11th 8:52PM**

**Your Uber Pool is arriving. Please meet your driver,** **_Leonardo_ ** **, at the predetermined pick up location.**

  
  


Wednesday night was Lad’s Night. Tradition. Food and beer and movies and the occasional board game. Then, Remus and Sirius got together which was fantastic. So exciting, true love and joy and pure happiness for his two best friends in the world. Consequential to their happiness, however, meant that James’s beloved Lad’s Nights frequently became him crashing Date Night. Even though they did their best to keep his third wheeling to a minimum and keep it Lad’s Night, it frequently became Lad’s plus a lot of PDA. Tonight was one of those nights.

Sirius picked a horror flick just for an excuse to dump popcorn on James’s head during jump scares and to curl up on top of Remus. James had plenty of practice ignoring their  _ canoodling  _ but apparently they were feeling especially  _ noodley  _ tonight, nonstop  _ noodley _ really. 

Remus had made it clear that he would drive the both of them home that night but each passing minute made it more and more clear that Sirius would be spending the night and James had the option of sleeping on the couch or Ubering himself out of there. Once Sirius flung his shirt and jeans off and onto James’s head in one motion about three quarters of the way through the movie, he settled on calling his second Uber of the day.

Not only his second of the day, but his ninth of the week simply because James is pathetic. He knows this, he feels this, and anyone who looked at his Uber ride history could prove it. But he couldn't help himself. How was he supposed to deal with the fact that he had met possibly the most amazing woman in the world and then he just stood there and watched her drive away. Correction, slammed the door in her face and then watched her drive away. 

Half of him wanted to just go stand outside of the building they had dropped her off at that first Uber trip and just pray she actually lives there and he could stage a run in, but he felt that was likely to get him a restraining order instead of a girlfriend. 

He stopped himself from doing that ( _ barely _ ) but wasn’t able to stop himself from taking an Uber every day since then. Pathetically paying for a $10.60 Uber ride to work, and then another to go to lunch, and then another to get to the coffee shop closest to that apartment they had dropped her off at, and just one around the block. But no. No Lily. Not even any other passengers except for that very morning when a lady rode with him to the bookstore holding a very large lizard on her lap. 

Lizard Lady was the final blow that pushed him back to reality and to take Uber’s strictly out of necessity, instead of desperation. 

And as much as he loved Sirius and Remus, and loved them being happy, seeing them so happy was certainly a desperate situation. 

He jumped in place on the sidewalk, running his hands together for warmth waiting for Leonardo and his SUV to pull up and looking over his shoulder, still on edge from the horror flick. 

The car pulled up and before James could approach the driver and check for his name, the backseat window came down and a smirking red head was peering out of it. Suddenly the whole night began to look up. 

“Well, look who it is!”

“Lily! It's you! Again!”

“James, it's me! Again!” His entire chest felt bubbly as she slid across the seats so he could come in next to her and watched her smile nearly match his in excitement. He said hello to Leonardo passingly, all without taking his eyes off of Lily, sliding in as close as he could without being considered publicly indecent.

“Wow, of course you would be here right now.” She shook her head admonishingly, leaning back and rubbing at her eyes with her hands. 

“What’s that mean? You manifesting my presence?”

“You wish, Breakfast Boy.” She poked him in the arm, “I’ve just had the worst night ever and was just thinking I needed ice cream or something equally as yummy to cheer me up.”

  
“So I’m yummy, am I?” His grin split his face wide open, those bubbles in his chest started to feel more like roaring lions now.

“Mmm, something like that. Maybe yummy isn’t the right word. Dashing, handsome, half decent car ride entertainment. Dealer’s choice, honestly.”

“I think I’ll stick with yummy, but really love to hear more about this whole ‘dashing’ thing. Is that like a Prince Charming vibe? That’s really the one I’ve been trying to put out. Prince Charming could make a better nickname than  _ Breakfast Boy. _ ”

“Please, much more like a hungover bumbling idiot than a Prince Charming, don’t you think?.”

“The abuse! I swear, you sign up for an Uber pool, count your blessings that you’ve been lucky enough to ride along with the most stunning redhead in this half the hemisphere not once, but  **_three times_ ** , only to find that she’s five feet of beratement and insults.” He leaned back in his seat, mockingly shaking his head.

“Only in this half of the hemisphere? What stunning redheads does Antarctica have to offer?” 

“I’ve never been to the southern hemisphere, I just feel I can’t accurately make a statement about the redheads there. Happy to pop down south for a few days to get some proper research. I’m sure after proper investigation you will be conclusively proven to be the most stunning redhead in both halves of the hemisphere.” 

“Quite the pragmatic answer. I appreciate your commitment to well researched compliments. Truly, the dedication is admirable. Unnecessary though, I feel validated enough. I’ll just stick to this half of the hemisphere to avoid any possibility of losing my title.”

“Probably smart. Wouldn’t want to pop down and come back to find Ed Sheeran has gotten a six pack and has overtaken your spot.”

“Excuse me,” her jaw dropped lightly, “you think all Ed Sheeran would need is a six pack to magically become more attractive than me?”

“Lily, look. I didn’t want to insult you and please don’t mistake me, you’re perfect in literally every single way, like designed by the Gods perfect. But Ed Sheeran is a ginger that can sing  _ and  _ plays multiple instruments. And again, goddess that you are, are you really telling me you can top that?”

“Never in my life have I been so confused if I should be flattered or disgusted.”

“Lily?” Leonardo was turned around to face them. “We’re here.” James whipped around to see they had somehow ended up in front of the same apartment building they had dropped her off the first time. He had barely noticed they started moving, nevermind stopped moving to pull in front of her destination. 

His heart sank as he watched her gather her belongings and unbuckle her seat belt. Who knows when the next time they’d take an Uber together would be. He might not see her for days, or weeks, or God forbid  _ never _ . 

“Lily, wait!” He blurted the words out, not even slightly knowing what he’d say next. 

Green eyes snapped to his, one hand on the door handle prepared to swing out of the car. 

“Yes, James?”

“CanwegoforanUbertogethernexttime?”

“I’m sorry, James, what was that?” Lily’s eyes wide and mildly concerned. Even Leonardo was turned around looking at him like he had just pulled the pin out of a grenade and suggested they all sit around and watch it explode from real closeup.

“What if,” he worked to speak slowly, feeling his entire face flush scarlet, “the next time we take an Uber together, we get out at the same place.” 

“Like a carpool?” Her eyebrow rose up slowly, corner of her mouth sliding up.

“Like go somewhere. Like go somewhere together, like get in the same car on purpose. And then get out at the same time and go somewhere. Like dinner.”

“You want to get a ride to dinner together?” She was fucking with him. Of course, she couldn’t make this easy when his entire body was turning red. 

“Yeah, erm dinner as like a date, if that’s not super weird or doesn’t make you uncomfortable.” Her grin didn’t slip, and he felt his whole body tense and the rambles coming on, “like get a ride to go to dinner together but like at the same time. And then eat together. And get a ride home. But maybe not home together. Because erm first date and I wouldn’t want to pressure or be too forward. So just dinner. Like a dinner date. Or a coffee date, if that would be okay. Of course not if you’re uncomfortable or think I’m being insane but I think you’re fun and I have fun in the car with you and I think we could have even more fun if it was a meeting on purpose and I’m going to stop talking but Lily, will you go out with me?” His voice rose dramatically to the end until he was practically shouting at her.

“Yes, James.” He felt his entire body let go and those lions started to fire up again,.“Yes, I would love to go out with you. Been waiting for you to ask actually.”

He very suddenly felt like the Uber could run over him and he wouldn’t even feel it. “You should have said!”

She swung the door open and stepped out, looking down at him, red hair swinging around her shoulders. “It wasn’t like I was being subtle. You’re just entirely too thick to pick up on signals. But yes, I would love to go out with you James.”

“Brilliant! Fantastic! We’ll do that then.” He smiled brilliantly, cheeks beginning to hurt.

“You know,” Lily leaned back into the car to whisper, “this is usually the time where a normal bloke would ask for my phone number. You know, so we could set this up later and let Leonardo get on with his evening,” she looked pointedly towards Leonardo who was, watching them both with a mixture of exasperation and amusement. 

“Right! Sorry, Leonardo.” He ran a hand through his hair sheepishly. “Could you please put me out my misery and let me have your number?” he begged.

“Lucky for you,” she dug around in her massive bag once more, “I came prepared. Been prepared actually since our first ride together.” She slid a slip of paper with a number,  _ her number(!),  _ across the seat and into his hand. 

“Use it and let poor Leo go home, alright?” She smiled one last time and slammed the door. 

He sat back in his chair, dazed and overwhelmed, and disgustingly pleased with himself.

“Sorry about that, Leonardo.”

“No worries mate.” He pulled away from the curb slowly, winking at James in the mirror. “Wasn’t expecting her to agree if I’m being honest. Good for you, mate.”   
  


Damn right, good for him. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is a wrap!!! I had so so much fun writing this story and I hope you guys had fun reading it! Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments and reviews you are all so sweet! Please leave me a comment below if you enjoyed or come talk to me on tumblr @jilytho thank you all!!

**Author's Note:**

> Helloooo thank you for reading! This is going to be probably 4 parts of varying lengths that I have mostly written so I will be updating soon! Hope you enjoy! Come find me on tumblr too my name is jilytho :)


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